The comedian Simon Amstell, 40, still says his “type” is an 18-year-old guy. One resultant effect is that gay men are far more likely to fetishise body image and form deep sexual attractions to certain types of men – such as an insistence on dating particularly masculine, particularly feminine or particularly old or young men – and are likely to carry those image obsessions with them throughout their lives. Science tells us that trauma is often carried with us for life and can lead to complicated repercussions when it comes to sexual attraction. This might take place in the playground or the workplace, or with family or friends and has drastic knock-on effects for queer relationship-building. Statistically, many more people that define as queer have been through trauma than straight people. While we celebrate media personalities like Phillip Schofield for coming out in their later years (it’s never too late!) the public can be guilty of expecting queer people to act like their straight counterparts when it comes to relationships when of course queer relationships are different.
